As media and presentation coaches, we are often asked to provide feedback to the executives with whom we work. Giving advice or feedback to someone requires a thoughtful approach. As a business leader or manager, you will likely find yourself in the position of having to provide feedback on a regular basis, sometimes when someone is not prepared to hear it. And as a leader, one of the most important – and perhaps one of the most uncomfortable – parts of your job is communicating to your employees something to help improve their performance. The process of doing so is a delicate one.

How can you have a positive interaction with someone who is resistant to the advice or feedback that you are trying to give? Too often, this crucial communication skill is underdeveloped.  As a result, advice and feedback can feel more like an insult or a demand.

Be Prepared to Listen

The first consideration of giving advice that business leaders should try to respect is to make sure that their feedback is needed and wanted. Unsolicited advice can feel intrusive. Certainly, there are times when you must provide constructive feedback to someone – an employee whose dress or behavior doesn’t meet your organization’s professional standards, for example – but most unsolicited advice is simply an overstep. The risk of proffering advice to someone who hasn’t asked for it is that they may reject your insights and good intentions. This can be especially sensitive when you have power over the person to whom you are offering the feedback. Instead of blindsiding an employee with your solicitousness, have an open conversation to gain a better perspective from the other person’s point of view. Hear their ideas and thoughts.

Your position as a leader may mean that you must provide criticism or guidance that isn’t asked for, but how you handle the discussion leading up to that moment will determine how well your intentions are perceived.

Seeking Validation vs Seeking Feedback

Being approached for feedback doesn’t guarantee a smooth conversation. It’s important to try to determine, either through verbal or nonverbal communication, whether the recipient is seeking your validation or your feedback. Those who are seeking validation will be unwilling to hear any feedback as constructive. They simply want to hear that they are doing well, are on the right path, or are solving the right problems. To be able to guide the validation-seeker properly, you will need to encourage him or her to have an open discussion with you in which you can elicit their ideas and thoughts about the project or idea and then help guide them.

Offer Options, Not Answers

Despite your best intentions, the feedback you offer can be biased and generally based on your subjective experiences. To stay truly focused on the recipient of your views, the most helpful thing you can do is offer insight that helps them form their own decisions. There are some pills that are as hard to dispense as they are to swallow, so the best thing you can do as a leader is be supportive and kind.

The best advice that we can offer about giving feedback is to offer guidance and mentoring whenever possible. It’s the approach we take with our coaching, because we have found that the best results come from giving options rather than directives. If you can offer information and choice, you can empower your employees to make decisions that benefit your entire organization.


Franchetti Communications delivers accelerated results by designing power-packed media interview and presentation training sessions around your unique goals, in person and via teleconference. Franchetti Communications works with corporations and business leaders to develop communication strategy, messaging, and PR strategy. Follow Franchetti Communications on LinkedIn, and be sure to download our special report: 6 Ways to Guarantee Your Message Cuts Through the Clutter.

One Response to Giving Advice or Feedback to Someone Who Is Not Prepared to Hear It
  1. […] five key concepts will help you communicate advice in a manner by which your audience will embrace […]


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